YOU DID WHAT???

I’m sitting at my desk getting carried away by the task in-front of me. Everyone in the office is dressed in their best corporate attire, getting projects running and daily tasks completed. I take my headphones off, lock my screen and make my way to the canteen. As I am waiting for the coffee machine to finish my hot chocolate order (I don’t drink coffee), I look out of the window and just like that reality slaps me across the face. OH SHIT I’M IN ANOTHER COUNTRY.

For those who don’t know, I recently moved to Christchurch New Zealand!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH! even typing it out makes me all giddy inside. I still cannot believe it. But yes. I did it!

There is so much to talk about, the why, when and how and I don’t think I will be able to cover it all in this one post. What I will tell you is that this is probably the biggest test of faith I have and still am (and most likely still will be) experiencing. Let me tell you “blind faith’ has taken on a completely knew meaning.

“We walk by faith, not by sight” – 2 Corinthians 5v7

Why/what made you do it? is a question I have been asked more times than I can recall. I respond by asking “do you want the right answer or the honest one?”. The right answer: I want to change my life. I grew frustrated and felt stagnated in a place I outgrew. I want a new challenge and a new chapter/start in life. Whilst the right answer is true, it’s not entirely honest.

The honest answer is that I am not even 100% sure I know what I am doing or if this is the right decision for me. I prayed to God to change my circumstances and to change me. OH SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING moments have been nonstop since last year July when I decided to apply for a job purely on the basis of let’s see. I never imagined this would be the result! I never imagined this was even possible for me!

My pastor (shout out to Pastor Craig Brophy of the Unified Church of the Nazarene back in Johannesburg) told me something that I will take with me for the rest of my life when I spoke to him about this decision. He said to me (and this is paraphrased):

As Christians we often pray Lord please open a door for me. But this is incorrect. When we get saved, every door is already open, everything is possible. What we should be praying is Lord please close doors that are NOT for me

Every interview, every discussion … just everything was approached with the mindset of God you got me and I am trusting you. If this is your will for my life, I will go. I will not move unless you go with me, more so if you don’t go before me. If it’s not from you, through you and to you, I don’t want it.

So yes, my current life theme is blind faith. Hebrews 11v1 describes faith as “the assurance of things hoped for, and the certainty of what we do not see”. But “blind” in this context is more so the fact that I have no idea what the future holds or the plans He has for me. But I guess that’s the whole point isn’t it?