I GOT STOOD UP

If you’ve read any of my other blogs, I’m sure you would have noticed that I only experienced my first real relationship at the age of 27 (technically 26 cause we were together for three months before my 27’Th birthday). Yes that is old and I’m sure you are probably thinking ‘what was I doing all through high school and university and my twenty something years of life and that’s fair. However as dull as my existence has been, I’ve had my experiences just like every other girl. I had crushes (some lasting a couple of years), I’ve made horrible decisions regarding my taste of guys, and yes I even had a couple of dates believe it or not; although they didn’t always go according to plan…

So here I am, 25ish, thinking I know “men” even though by that time I only had something like three real dates (total exaggeration FYI). And by real dates I mean the guys actually asked me for a date and then took me on one; not random “oh ill meet you there when you and your friends show up” or “hangouts” or even “hook-ups”. My lack of experience and naivety had me convinced that these definitions were “dates” and will fill me with so much excitement to see these guys to a point where I’d spend hours picking the perfect outfit, doing my hair and attempt at makeup. I would come up with the most extreme lies to my parents of who I was with for the most part because I either had to go with friends that they knew or actually have to ask my dad to drop me off. Those of you who grew up with strict parents would understand the struggle, but I digress… .

So here I was talking to a guy via Instagram that I had in fact already met okay don’t judge. He never really asked me out on a date in so many words, it was more of “how about we meet up for a coffee” which in hindsight was red flag number one. I thought it was a date and of course I chose my outfit the night before duh. Red flag number two: he showed up and hour late and made up some excuse about how I didn’t let him know that I was on my way when we agreed earlier that day as to a time and venue…again don’t judge me I should’ve known better I know.

The night carriers on and dude started talking about how he has a “false” reputation of being a ladies man. Red flag number three. He then continues to tell me that he only knows if he has a connection with a girl after the first kiss. I thought yeah makes sense but then got thrown way off by him saying the first kiss happens on the first date. This is red flag number four if you are keeping count. Needless to say I wanted to be “that girl” that didn’t give him what he was used to or what he wanted and never kissed him that night.

Red flag number five: he never texted me until I decided to talk to him like three days later. By this time you’re probably thinking Darcy you are stupid, but oh no hold on to that thought my friend it gets worse. I asked him out for a second “date” saying some ish like “I’m feeling for pizza, want to join me?” ….hahaahaahahaaaaaaaahaha I am now the dumbest girl on earth!! Dude agrees and as I am leaving my office to go to the venue we agreed on previously, I thought “hey maybe tell this guy you are on your way so that he doesn’t show up late again”. Oh Darcy, you foolish girl. I drove to the venue and sat in my car with my messages left on read, and this dude being a no show.

Sigh. I am aware that being stood up was partly my fault for being an idiot. But ladies and gents learn from my mistakes. If you see red flags don’t ignore them. You’ll be saving yourself a lot of heartbreak and disappointment. A relationship expert once said:

You’ll know when a man truly wants you. He’ll show it.

I am so grateful now for that experience for what it was thought me: rejection is protection!