CRAZY IN LOVE
So we have the typical story of boy meets girl, boy chases girl, girl gives in (probably due to persistence if I’m being honest), but instead of a happy ending, they find themselves in a situationship, not really a couple but they’re “together”. BIG OLD REG FLAG NO. 1.
I was home, like I normally am every weekend, and I got a random message on some social media app. It could have been Instagram or Facebook but details… This message was from a girl who asked me if I knew who … let’s call him “Bob”… was and if I was seeing him. My heart dropped. I knew in that moment that something was wrong.
I responded and informed her that I knew Bob but of course I didn’t claim to be dating him because 1: I really wasn’t, and 2: no-one wants to claim some jiggaboo and look like a fool (obviously this was the suspicion at the time).Her response was exactly what I didn’t want to hear. She was seeing Bob and just wanted to know if he was seeing me. Suspicion confirmed.
My heart dropped. Here I was catching feelings for a guy who was dating another girl. You’d think because I was never really sure from the get go that it shouldn’t affect me as much right? But no. Of course I told her Bob and I were just friends and that she had nothing to worry about when it came to me.
Honestly, I don’t want to be someone’s side piece and if I am not the first choice then don’t choose me.
I’m digressing. After responding to her, I went to her page to find proof that this was legitimate and a found a folder with the two of them doing what couples do and take annoying “we’re so happy” photo’s. Fighting the urge to confront Bob, I messaged his best friend and asked him who “Susan” was. He was so confused and told me that the only Susan he knew was Bob’s cousin. BIG OLD REG FLAG NO.2. Confused as hell, I called Bob and went off. I broke things off without giving him a chance to explain and told him to enjoy life with Susan.
Some time goes by and eventually I get in contact with Bob again. The question “why” was finally asked but what he told me honestly was not at all what I was expecting. He told me that Susan was in fact his cousin. He told her about me and she told him that I looked like the type of girl who didn’t commit to a guy and would break his heart. They then came up with this whole plan, pictures and all, to prove to her theory to Bob. BIG OLD RED FLAG NO.3. Oh yes. That happened. People actually do crazy shit like that.
I really not sure what goes through someone’s mind when they think of doing something crazy like this. It sounds, and is, crazy. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that love is a drug. That addiction is so powerful. And sometimes maintaining that high can drive people into rationalizing crazy thoughts. In that moment, this idea was not ludicris and ridiculous. That being said, there is no excuse for crazy behavior.
They say people do crazy things when they’re in love. I tend to agree for the most part. I definitely have experienced doing things that I normally wouldn’t when I found myself in situationships; or as Jada put it “entanglements”; but to go “bat shit” (excuse my language) was never really something I personally experienced going through. It’s so important to remain aware of what’s going on despite being in love. Pay attention to those crazy thoughts and those red flags because ignoring them often leads to heart break and disappointment.
The biggest lesson of all, call it intuition, or God, or your guardian angel but your gut always knows when something ain’t it. Listen to your voice, and trust it.
2 Comments
Essack
Wow.. just wow!!
Naturally there are so many questions after reading all this. Like.. never have I thought people are actually out here experiencing and are able to conjure up such drama to the highest level that if I had not known any better I would say this was a script right out of a blockbuster staring Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdam, just x the happy ending that is.
But if I may touch on something that has suck out for me in this story, particularly speaking from personal experience on this specific point on how we find ourselves in these “situationships” where we know we are exclusive to one another yet because no clear communication was made where a party specifically asked the other out, and thus defining the relationship with the question “will you be my girlfriend?”; this act in its simplicity seems so cliché but yet holds the biggest supporting block to any relationship’s foundation.
I am not going to sit here and lie and say I have not been guilty of stringing a girl along by not conforming to this simple yet necessary act for any healthy relationship to begin, weather it was for my own selfish reasons at the time or just more accurately me trying to understand, challenge or define the role a male & female play when it comes to two people who happen to find chemistry within one another.
We live in a society where we all champion behind gender equality and how best we can as a society bring forth change in the vision that we are all equal in the roles we play in society as well as the reality that nothing should be limited to only one gender yet.. when it comes to our relationships, we tend to follow this methodical handbook that somehow plays along to – ( who should initiates the first move, how to go about a first kiss or just be it initiating comfort building when you alone).
Anyway I digress.. back to Red flag Nr1: Defining your relationship is absolutely necessary and is highly important if you are looking to have something worth cherishing and spending both your energy and time for, and if you are unable to do that you should defiantly ask yourself the question “why”.. why are we just keeping things casual?” and in most cases it will most likely point out to the lack of being able to communicate and just be straight up honest with one another.
So in the wise words thy narrator “your gut always knows when something ain’t it “ Trust yo Gut!
Once again, I thank you for sharing such a great read. 😉
Do keep well Darcy and most importantly, stay true to your awesome self!!!
Darcy
Thank you for your comment. Communication really is key in pretty much every aspect of life. Unfortunately, we are creatures of habit so the ability to talk is difficult if not cultivated early.