CHANGE. AGAIN.

Remember when you said you were going to go to the gym on Monday but that specific Monday hasn’t come yet? Or you start a diet/healthier eating plan but day three comes and now you are miserable because your motivated self didn’t buy any snacks? Yeah. That’s me but with everything including this blog. It’s been almost a year since I last my last post. That’s crazy considering how much I enjoyed this.

Why am I like this?

‘Change is the only thing that’s constant’ – these words have been my life in the past two years and quite frankly I am just about sick of it. More often than not I feel like God heard me say “I feel like I need a change” and said “bet” and flipped my world upside down. Be careful what you wish for right. The reality of change is that it places you in a level of discomfort that is so foreign, and instability keeps you in a state of flight or fight response that is difficult to shut off. I made a massive life change and it has jolted me to my core.

Ever watched the TV show ‘Total wipeout’? Yeah pretty accurate representation of how I am navigating life’s obstacles right now. I used to watch that show for entertainment but on reflection I am find gems that might make me understand why it is that this is affecting my motivation.

1. Exhaustion

Getting your feet wiped out from beneath you is exhausting. Not only are you in physical pain (which becomes more permeant with age) but you have to keep swimming to the next post whilst trying to catch your breath, only to get the wind knocked out of you again.

2. Delusion

Pretty much every contestant on that show starts off confident and oblivious to what awaits them, but that’s not the delusion I am talking about. Every contestant has a life jacket and helmet on despite having any athletic ability and physical strength. Too often we are delusional in thinking we can tackle life without a life jacket. Without God. And then we wonder why we are exhausted.

3. Imaginary time

I thought I would have completed this course by now, alas I am still stick on those big ass red balls. The imaginary timeline in our heads catches us in more ways than one. Not only do we place a time limit on ourselves but we compare our time scores to the next player. This unnecessary pressure makes change harder to deal with. “ABS in two weeks” firstly is a lie, but this imaginary timeline is completely unobtainable and sets you up for failure. And then you wonder why you have no motivation.

4. Shifting goal posts

Change results in learning. Learning increases knowledge. Knowledge affects understanding. Every lesson I am challenged with has changed me. I am not the same person I was two years ago. And because of that my priorities have changed. My dreams, goals, asperations and even hobbies have changed (I started running and actually enjoying it after saying I would never run). Life isn’t being unfair and shifting the goal posts, I am.

I have said it before and I will say it again, life is hard! We need to acknowledge that. While I am giving myself grace in figuring it all out and learning to enjoy the journey including the misery I experience, I am going to ask you for some help. You reading this has been my motivation for the beginning. For us to have the difficult discussions and to share our experience will always be my goal. What I ask is if you could so kind as to respond in the comment section below on what you would like this platform to evolve in to while I pray about how best to use this platform.

Thank you in advance!

Love always,

Darcy