NATURAL HAIR?…YES PLEASE!
I wasn’t always a natural hair lover. In fact I am only entering this beautiful world, and have only been natural for four years now. But honestly, I spent my life chasing a perception of beauty that was never my own.
I was born with thin/fine hair that definitely did not curl when wet. I had hair like my mother “white hair”, just long, flowing, light, and capable of looking like I had my hair professionally done after just combing it dry in the sun (which sounds like a dream as I am writing this). Around seven my mom gave me the choice to cut my hair and being tired of long hair, and wanting to look like my mom who had short hair, I said yes. Unfortunately we did not go to a professional. My hair went from bum length to a bob and man or man did that change my life. I’m yet to decide if it was for the better or not.
PSA…. Please do not do a drastic cut to to your hair. Hair can actually go into shock and I learned that the hard way. The hair I was born with completely changed to a curly, bushy, unmanageable mess. My mom had absolutely no idea how to handle or even treat my hair and still to this day has never figured it out.
In South Africa there is a term called “krous” and its a term used to describe ethnic hair; more specifically relating to coarse hair. And yes it has a negative connotation to it but was never used as an insult to my knowledge. My mother also called my hair krous because of how thick, and at times unmanageable my hair was. I had difficulty “controlling” my hair before transitioning and fully embarrassing my curls.
“Krous” hair is not bad hair. It is curly hair. People just don’t know the correct way to treat it.
Natural hair was not uncommon but received the side eye in society. Although now we see that shift and change happen with so many people embracing their natural hair, it didn’t come easy. The acceptable standard of beauty was also long, fine, straightened hair. and perhaps still is to an extent now. Because my hair was difficult to say the least, I often had chemical treatments to try to help the manageability. I would go for a reverse perm (because relaxing my hair felt like it would be a bit too drastic) to get my hair thinner and straighter. I even got a perm (only the Lord knows why) not for the curls, but because it somehow thinned my hair out too. On top of the chemicals, I lived with a blow dryer and a straightener attached to me. I would blow my hair out every week, and go over the blow out with a straightener about three times a week. needless to say, my hair was fried. Dead. Sigh…
Like most people, I went to YouTube for answers. What I found was a number of women; who had naturally curly hair; sharing their stories of going natural. Shocker at the time I tell you. I fell in-love with big curls and of course I thought to myself that could never be me, I don’t have curly hair. But then I looked deeper and realized that these women, went through the same struggle as I did but figured out exactly what they needed to do:
1: Stop listening to society’s opinion and beauty standards and love and embrace themselves.
2: Learn about your hair. What it likes, what it responds to, what it needs and requires.
3: Flourish.
See my hair was difficult because I was forcing it to do something it wasn’t suppose to be doing. My light-bulb moment happened. Why not wear it natural? Why not love the way it’s naturally growing out of my scalp? Why not embrace all of me for exactly how I am?
Like I said it’s been four years. Four years of learning this new side of me that I never knew existed. Four years of breaking people’s hearts because they prefer straight hair. Four years of me doing me.
Best decision I ever made.
